32 Flavors

Friday at work breezed by, thankfully, because I had about 3hrs sleep and I just had images of pillows and blanket the whole day. The trick or treat energized me, I mean the kids were just all adorable. My inaanak has really grown tall. I made a mental note of that to make sure I give the right gift this Christmas

Friday night was kind of harried. I went out to get some stuff for my nephew’s birthday, and well, guess who also got a "gift"? :p

Then I went to Absinth around 10ish to meet some friends, and well, by the time the night ended, I was right outside Embassy, feet weary and eyes hurt from all the smoke, but still one happy camper The highlight of the night was the green fairy and uhm, the dancing! I miss dancing

If not for my 8AM class, I would not have left before the clock struck 4AM. Haha! I made it at quarter before 9, a little dramatic entrance, and my head pounding. Good thing we ended an hour early because nothing was sinking in really.

Then it was off to the mall for the 1st part of my nephew’s birthday celeb.

We bought candies, even the scary ones

We had lunch at Pizza Company. The Tequila chicken pizza was yum!

This monstrous dessert did not taste as interesting as it looked, but it wasn’t that bad.

The staff sang happy birthday to my nephew, and gave him a pink cake with a pink candle (it was free! so I only have good words to say about them :))… It was hilarious, all the pinkness, but my nephew didn’t mind a bit. In fact, he finished the cake within 10mins

So he posed with a contented smile. One of the best feelings in the world is knowing that you have made a child happy.

After lunch I brought my nephew upstairs to play some games. Again, that smile. That smile just melts my heart

Then i saw this man, who’s probably going to be a kid at heart forever. Rock on!

After my nephew had ridden all the rides, we headed back home and hang out in the clubhouse a bit. My other nephews and niece were already there waiting for us. They were all so excited to be reunited, after months of not seeing each other.

The chubby baby is my eldest sister’s youngest. He came up running to us, greeting his younger cousin. "AJ, I missed you!!", he shouted. Then the birthday boy shouted back "Chin-chin, I miss you!"… Funny thing is, birthday boy’s name is not AJ, and my chinito nephew’s name is not Chin-chin, either. But no matter how many times we’ve corrected the two, they always call each other by those names (AJ is a girl cousin, and Chin-chin is the nickname of an older cousin). Hilarious, I tell you. Haha.

Here’s my customary self-portrait. Hahaha. 6 hours of sleep during the last 48hours = dark circles under my eyes. But sleep seems so petty when you’re having fun, and  when you’re making other people happy, specially your loved ones.

Then we went back to the unit to play with clay, burst the balloons, eat more pizza, mess around.

We did our little birthday boy happy pose.

Then we sang happy birthday, had our cake and ate it, too!

That, plus somewhere in between, I discovered something wonderful, too. It was kinda scary amazing, but I didn’t mind it at all

Expectedly, the climate at work has remained gloomy after the "1st wave". Several of our friends left. Some of them were happy, a few of them were shocked (as were we), and that is an understatement. A few managed to say their goodbyes, while others left quietly. As if dealing with the emotional trauma is not enough, their sudden departure serves but as a painful reminder of a universal truth that many of us has tried to evade. There is no such thing as job security, and no one is spared.

I’ve told my family after a couple of weeks about the situation at work. I didn’t want them to worry with news coming out all over. In the back of my mind, I also wanted to be assured that they will be there to support me, whatever the outcome of all of this will be. How silly of me, really. Even without me telling them, I know that they always have my back, no matter what.

I’ve told a few of my friends after that. And just yesterday, I opened it up to a wider audience - my high school friends. And today, well, anyone who reads my blog here and who isn’t aware yet, will also know.

Know what, exactly? That I’m going through some serious personal reflections through all this. My boat has been rocked very hard, and it was really scary at first. After all, I’ve known this life for almost a decade now, and leaving it, can throw you into an emotional chaos. But I’m past that phase now. If anything, what’s happening has done more good than damage. For one, I’m into one of my most creative modes ever. Plotting out options, formulating game plans and what not. Second, I realized that there is no such thing as the "unknown". Our fate lies in our hands. What happens to us is all up to us, really. Third, I’m not afraid to go back home now. I know now that a simple life is what I wanted all along. Even if it means giving up the comforts and independence that I’ve known/lived the past few years. Looking around, I know people can live on so much less. Why can’t I? Why shouldn’t I? Fourth, I will never back down without a fight. I was never one who let fate dictate my life, and now is not the time to cower in fear. Yes, I will probably have no choice if all of a sudden I’m left without a job, but even then, I can go in my own terms. Fifth, I have started to give up some things and I’m surprised to find that I’m ok with it. It’s not the end of the world and  I can always reconsider these things I’ve given up, when things are better.

True, (more) changes are bound to happen… But change is not bad. Having been living a nomadic life, change has in fact been my friend, for the most part.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I’ve been living a lie. And I realized what really scares me is waking up one day, after a comfortable sleep, induced by the trappings of success, suddenly realizing I didn’t live my life to its full potential. Thanks to the 1st wave, I’ve finally woken up.

I started out the day in quite a good mood. What with my new blue dot Havs to bring happiness to my feet and slap away the crabby me lately I saw Allan’s look as he saw me with a Rustan’s bag in tow after just leaving him and James for a mere 10mins. And I appreciate how he just acknowledged (by not saying anything) that this almost-addiction to the rubber flipflops is something that I will have to deal with for a much longer period of time, in spite of my several tries to quit cold turkey.

I’m still happy as a bee, but a call from one of my good friends tugged at my heart. Love is indeed so hard to figure out. Emotions are just so complex that sometimes relationships are screwed up even when things seem to have "fallen into place". Don’t worry, dear friend, you are not alone. I’ve had a few heartbreaks too many. Up to now, some of the things that happened still don’t make sense. There are still more questions than answers. But if there is one thing that is comforting to know, it’s that we eventually move on.

And maybe love again, or even, lose again. All we can do is hope that someday we will get it right. That someday, someone, preferably one without baggages, will love us and try his best not to lose us, whether it’s his doing or not.

But for now, today, you have me, as you have your other friends. Hugs!

—-0o0—-

I read Jon’s blog earlier. Something he said struck me. "It is hard to get attached to something not really meant for you"…

How so very true. It’s even harder when you are the type who can get attached to anything, anyone, in a matter of minutes. Like me. And that’s bad for someone who is an acknowledged wanderer… (Just another one of my contradictions: nomadic yet easily gets attached. Sigh).

Ali and I were talking about how we got attached to Penang so easily. How much we loved it there and hated leaving. To think we were only there for a week! So just imagine how many times I’ve had to get attached then let go in this lifetime, since I have never really stayed put in one place for too long…

So I have this love-hate affair with attachment. I love meeting new friends. Exploring new places. Finding love. But I hate losing touch with good friends. I hate saying goodbye to places I’ve temporarily called home. I hate falling apart with lovers.

Sigh.

—-0o0—-

Now for the pick-me-upper This is what I really wanted to post but I got sidetracked. How so very me. Hahaha.

You can never get away with some funny experiences while you’re in another country.

It was the first day of our F2F meeting. And my counterparts from the other side of the world, still jet-lagged, was in need of caffeine real bad. So off they went to our office cafe. When they came back, we were surprised to see them holding plastic bags with dark brown liquid on it.

The other non-locals (including me) must have given them the funniest puzzled looks ever, that the two of them burst in laughter as well.

Oh yeah. That’s hot coffee to go in a plastic bag. Drink ‘em with a straw. The real challenge: Hold the bags while chairing and taking minutes of the meeting

Only in Penang. Hehehe.

(Come to think of it, we’ve been joking that it would be easier to just take caffeine intravenously. Maybe that is a much better option that drinking it through a straw. Mas efficient! Hahaha.)

The fact that I loved Penang so much that it hurt to leave was suprising. I remembered how I disliked the smell of curry and the heaps of yellow rice when I was there 9 years ago. Cities change and people change, too, I guess

Here are some of the reasons why I love Penang…

1. Temples. Not only are they beautiful, but it is also an indication of a culture so diverse yet somewhat harmonious. I don’t know how many there are, but I know there’s a lot. We went to a Siamese temple, a Burmese temple, an Indian temple. And we’ve passed by Chinese temples, mosques, churches, and other places of worship to perhaps any religion there is in the world.

At the Burmese temple, Ali and I knelt before a monk and he murmured a prayer on a language we didn’t recognize, splashed water on us and put a tiny string bracelet on our wrist. I hoped that he prayed for lots of good luck. Especially since the RM coin I threw missed that bowl of interest in the wishing well;)

2. Food. The Banana Leaf Curry House is one of my favorite places to eat here. And in Penang, it is practically daily fare. I’m kind of wary about overly spicy and hot food, but I find myself missing it already. Apparently, spicy food is good for the metabolism, and I know my sinuses definitely cleared the whole week.

The only downside, RICE! I totally abandoned my low carb diet. Rice tames the tangy and spicy feel on my tongue. And I’m Asian, for goodness sakes. I love my rice.

3. Novelty. I know we have carinderia, jolly-jeeps and McDoko-doko (in cebu). They are probably the hawker’s counterpart in Penang. But what is different is the way they are set-up. I’m talking about the food courts there selling hawker fare. No one stall is selling the same food. Too bad I didn’t get to try laksa. And I still want to try it authentic - go line up to the hawkers selling food in one corner on the street

4. Culture. Diversity is definitely interesting. In the company cafe, non-halal food is not allowed inside. Most of the restos just sell chicken. When we arrived, it was start of the Chinese Hungry Ghost festival. Apparently, during the full moon, the ghosts came back to visit their loved ones (and maybe enemies? ). Sidewalk plays were held for the ghosts. So don’t be sorry if you see a play that has empty seats (or nilalangaw, in tagalog). That’s really the way it’s supposed to be. Because the seats are for the ghosts. (Insert gasp here).

This girl in the picture with me by the Gurney Drive was in one of those plays. Too bad we didn’t get to watch.

5. Gurney Drive. Gurney Drive is fronting the sea. Looks like Baywalk, only cleaner and less crowded. The place is apparently a little upscale. Very pretty, breezy and serene. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (I prefer tea lattes over fraps) is just a short walk away. And more importantly, Plaza Gurney - our little shoe shopping haven. Wahaha.

6. Uncle Siva. He has been driving Filipino expats for about 10 years now. He has become like a legend. Dapat kasama sa traveller’s checklist. He is kind and honest and very fatherly. We always felt safe with him. And without him, we would never have managed to go around Georgetown or up the hills to Batu Ferringhi for a last minute shopping spree.

7. Shopping. Ali and I scored lovely pairs of shoes all for under 1.5k pesos. I got several pairs for only P150 each! The most expensive pair I got were the studded ballerina flats at about P900. Not bad. The best part is, they are all so comfy on my feet!

Then of course, there was the Shu Uemura finds. Too bad I’m not a keen make up fan. But an eyelash curler is something I can probably figure out. Harhar.

The night market in Batu Ferringhi is like Greenhills, only it’s a whole stretch of stalls by the roadside instead of inside a building. You have your usual pirated DVD’s, knock-offs and hand-crafts. Some items are actually cheaper here in the Philippines. But the best part of shopping is the experience in looking through stalls and stalls of pretty stuff.

8. Traffic. Definitely better than Manila, a little similar to Cebu. In fact, Penang and Cebu is quite similar. A developing island, somewhere between suburban and urban… More laid-back than Manila, but not without the comforts of development. I love that people hardly honk their horns in Penang. Not even during rush hour. How very refreshing.

The only downside (or should I say challenge), is that they drive on the left side of the road. When crossing the streets, I always look the other way, and to think barumbado akong tumawid sa Pinas. Hahaha. But like new things, this is just something that takes getting used to. So it’s really not that bad.

9. Subsidized gas and other freebies. Gas there is cheaper because the government is subsidizing it. Education is free until high school, and the government will send to prison parents who don’t send their children to school. Wonderful.

10. Friends. Through the years I’ve met so many friends from all over the world. A few of them Malaysians. Too bad I wasn’t able to see one of my good friends, but we did talk lengthily over the phone. I miss him, and I will miss the rest of my friends.

And most definitely, I will miss Penang, Malaysia. Till next time!

One of the many ironies in life is that love is indeed everything. But it is also never enough.

Hello, blog. Hello, Friendsters. Naks. Wahaha.

It’s been a while. Haven’t been checking out (a.k.a. stalking) friendster. Harhar. Been busy with life. Karen told me I should update my profile. I was going to wait a few more months and see how things work out. But hey, isn’t one of the joys of this whole thing adding photos and updating profiles? How boring naman if it’s the same old deal. Hahaha.

Seriously, I’m just making the most out of my hibernation weekend. Using up my internet connection while it’s still there (because this Smart Bro thing really sucks, I only have connection once in a blue moon. And it’s not even exag..)…

It’s like DVD marathon galore for me. Prison Break. Smallville. Lost. My eyes are hurting so bad.

I don’t like Lost Season 2 all that much. Ana Lucia is really irritating. Come to think of it, most of the characters have become so annoying. Like the doctor. And Walt’s dad. Exag masyado. Always so angsty. Thank goodness for Hurley, and good ol’ eye candy - Sawyer. And why did they kill the resident kikay girl? Granted she didn’t have much to live for anymore since her secret love died in Season1, but hey, Saiyid is a good guy. I always love bad guys who, inspite of their sins, really has a good heart deep down. Harhar.

Prison Break season ender was so heartbreaking. I mean, all those episodes waiting for this day to come, and still …? Bitin!! I can’t wait for fall. Season 2 na!

It’s raining hard outside. Summer is really over. But it’s all good. This was one of the best summers I’ve had.

There’s supposed to be a storm somewhere in the Carribean. I hope he’s safe. Dear Lord, please keep him safe.

My U.S. counterparts would always look at me cynically whenever I tell them that the Philippines is composed of 7,100 islands. More, during low tide. You know that look when someone is about to burst in laughter? Yeah, that’s the look they would always give me. It came to a point when they actually searched over the net, and then grudgingly tell me that apparently, I’m telling the truth.

I told them 100 of those islands can be found in one place, in Lingayen Gulf, to be exact. Again, that look. Haha. Who can blame them? If you think about it, it can be quite unbelievable. So I told them, I will visit the Hundred Islands in Pangasinan someday, and will be sure to send them pictures when I do, with the caption : Bleh, told ‘ya.

Harhar.

We left Manila around 3AM Saturday, and arrived 7ish in Alaminos. We had a hearty, albeit pricey, breakfast in a resto at the dock. Around mid-day, we were on our way to the islands. The boat ride was a little rough, specially for a non-swimmer like me. Yeah, the sun worshipper doesn’t know how to swin. Isn’t it ironic? (Incidentally, Alanis’ song was one of our topics, whereby we argued about whether the situations are indeed ironic. The verdict: who cares? It’s a good song, Alanis is a great singer. So let’s all charge it to poetic license. Hehehe!)

There are three islands that have been developed for tourists (meaning they have lodging facilities and other amenities) namely: Quezon, Children’s and Governor’s Islands. The rest of the islands are uninhabited and undeveloped.

We settled in one of these islands. Papaya Island was ours for the day. Bliss. We swam, talked, laughed, and while the others went up the top of the island, I decided to catch some zzz’s under the shade of the huge rock, since I didn’t have a wink of sleep Friday night.

We dropped by Cuenco Island on our way back, where a short cave cut across the whole island. Soon, we reluctantly left the Hundred Islands, which I learned soon after, is actually composed of 123 islands during high tide, and 124 on low tide. No one can really explain why these islands are next to each other in the gulf. If you know why, ping me. I’d like to know =)

The rest of the Pangasinan trip was spent in Bolinao, which is the tip of Western Pangasinan. As a coastal town, it reminds me so much of my beloved Cebu, specially my parents’ hometown in Daanbantayan (tip of North Cebu). We managed to catch the sunset when we got to the resort. So very lovely. (One loves the sunset when one is so sad - The Little Prince)

Cape Bolinao lighthouse is the 2nd tallest in the Philippines, and it’s still functional. The view from there, looking out to the South China sea, is magnificent. I spent many years wanting to go back to Costa Rica to enjoy all its wonders and because I just seemed to fit there like a fish in an ocean. But I realized everything that I love there has been here all along. Of course, in matters of the heart, things may not be quite the same. Hehe.

I would of course mention the great company I was with. Fun. Tons of laughter and stories. Made the Pangasinan trip all the more sweet.

We went to the 10th Annual Hot Air Balloon Festival at Clark, Pampanga last weekend. We set out to watch the balloons fly shortly after 6AM on a Saturday. Amazing. I wish I could "fly" again. And stay in flight. Long enough to marvel at the beauty. The view is always better from the top. Everything looks so beautiful and calm.

But back on earth, the kids marvelled at the balloons and kites, and skydivers, even at the childhood carnival rides of Octopus and G-force. It was a weekend full of childlike fun and wishes. I managed to get a big bruise on my leg, as I tend to do whenever I go on weekend getaways. Gah.

And, well, the tequila is always welcome company

I am a self-confessed film maniac. My romance with films started when a teacher showed Oro Plata Mata back in high school. She wanted to teach us about our country. I was awed and touched and realized the power movies have. Now I watch films for many reasons. Mostly for enjoyment. Sometimes to escape into another world. Often to bitch about it in the end. Depends on the mood, really. Like when I watched “Don’t Give Up On Us” recently, I was in my please-shoot-me-now mood. Hahaha.

So when someone asks me what my favorite film is, I don’t even know where to start. There are way too many. But I will definitely say that Godfather I and II are my two favorite films of all time. Hands down. Which basically translates to, I can watch it over and over again and never get tired. So here’s a stab of my movie list. I may miss some. Either I haven’t watched them. Or my memory has failed me.

Favorite Films of All Time (can watch over and over and over and over… again)

1. Godfather I and II

2. When Harry Met Sally

3. For Love of the Game

4. Under The Tuscan Sun

5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Films that Touched my Heart and Soul (and made me think, cry, laugh hard)

1. Shawshank Redemption

2. The Green Mile

3. Glory

4. Ghost

5. Mystic

   River

6. Something’s Gotta Give

7. Love Actually

8. Lost in Translation

9. Amores Perros

10. Traffic

11. Unfaithful

12. I am Sam

13. Dead Poet’s Society

14. Dangerous minds

15. Schindler’s List

16. My Life As A House

17. Life is Beautiful

18. E.T.

19. A Beautiful Mind

20. Reality Bites

21. With Honors

22. Riding In Cars with boys

23. The Girl With the

    Pearl

    Earring

24. Age of Innocence

25. Scarlet Letter

26. Y Tu Mama Tambien

27. Cinema Paradiso

28. Amelie

29. Malena

30. City of

    God

31. Somewhere in time

32. Man on Fire

33. The Rain Man

34. Saving Private Ryan

35. Gladiator

36. Beautiful Boxer

37. Big Fish

38. Braveheart

Best Suspense/Thriller

1. The Usual Suspects

2. Silence of the Lambs

3. The Sixth Sense

Best Comedies

1. Bad Boys 1/2

2. Shrek ½

3. Lilo and Stitch

4. Finding Nemo

5. The Guru

Best Filipino Films (list is very stringent.. there are a few more ok ones of late..)

1. Oro, Plata, Mata

2. Isang ARaw Walang Diyos  (I watched this more than 2x back in high school.. this is the 2^nd film I really loved)

3. Bata, Bata PAno Ka Ginawa

4. Sister Stella L

5. Anak

6. Hubog

7. Bagong Buwan

8. Panaghoy sa Suba

9. Bagets (seriously, hahaha)

10. Narinig Mo Na Ba ang Latest? (because this is one of my favorites lines ever: My brains are bigger than my boobs!… Hahaha. I echo that!)

Films I Haven’t seen but I know I should

1. Citizen Kane

2. Gone with the Wind

3. Casablanca

4. Magnifico

5. Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros

6. Pulp Fiction

“As people our job is to become who we are. I would like to salute the men and women who brave ostracism, alienation and a life lived on the margins to become who they really are.”

This is a quote from one of my favorite TV actresses, Felicity Huffman who plays Lynette in Desperate Housewives (also one of my favorite TV series). This is an excerpt of her speech after winning the Golden Globe Best Actress Award for her role as a pre-op transsexual in Transamerica. I have not yet seen the movie, but I cannot wait until its play date here at home. I want to watch it not because it tackles a controversial theme, but I love films that can evoke reflection and encourages the viewers to think beyond their prejudices, and be more accepting of the differences we see all around us. As someone who grew up in a liberated environment (a.k.a, UP education), as someone who has seen a few parts of the world in different angles and as someone who has lived multiple lives in this lifetime, I have made it a personal mantra to reduce, if not, diminish the bigots in this world. I believe that we are all entitled to live our lives the way we choose, with the fine print, of course, that we shall do it without deliberately hurting anyone else in the process. In the end, we can only be happy if we are true to who we really are. And no one should ever judge us for that.

This reminds me of another poignant movie I saw recently. I first heard of this last Cinemanila ’04 but never got to watch it. I was ecstatic to find out the movie was being shown in local theatres again, after it made its

US

debut in the cinemas last year. I’m talking about Beautiful Boxer, which is based on a true story of Parinya Charoenphol, also fondly known as Nong Toom, the famed lady boy (kathoey) Thai kickboxing champion in the late ‘90s. Nong Toom took up kickboxing initially to bring his family out of poverty, which is something we Filipinos understand. (Segue to our beloved PacMan, who is fighting a big fight next week… Good luck!). Eventually, he saw kickboxing as a means to finally achieve what he wanted all his life – to become a woman. And the story evolves around his struggles as a boy who was bullied because of his effeminate ways, to a young man who fought fiercely in the ring in order to get his family out of poverty, to a woman trapped in a boxer’s body until his sex reassignment surgery. One of the most moving scenes was when he was being seduced by a Japanese woman after winning a fight because she did not believe that Nong Toom was really a transvestite. And as the woman removed her clothes in front of him, all he could do is watch longingly at a body that he wishes was his.

In life, there are things that we want so badly but we may never have. A man we love with all our hearts, but who loves someone else. A child who might never be born. A way out of the married life that we have come to loathe. A husband who will love us till death do us part. A wife who is loving and accepting but not blind to our faults.

Nong Toom was one of the lucky ones. He got what he wanted because he stayed true to himself. Or should I say, herself. But her physical change was only the beginning. Her journey continues on.

And for the rest of us are NOT YET as lucky, we can only keep on hoping that someday we will get our hearts’ desires J