32 Flavors

Expectedly, the climate at work has remained gloomy after the "1st wave". Several of our friends left. Some of them were happy, a few of them were shocked (as were we), and that is an understatement. A few managed to say their goodbyes, while others left quietly. As if dealing with the emotional trauma is not enough, their sudden departure serves but as a painful reminder of a universal truth that many of us has tried to evade. There is no such thing as job security, and no one is spared.

I’ve told my family after a couple of weeks about the situation at work. I didn’t want them to worry with news coming out all over. In the back of my mind, I also wanted to be assured that they will be there to support me, whatever the outcome of all of this will be. How silly of me, really. Even without me telling them, I know that they always have my back, no matter what.

I’ve told a few of my friends after that. And just yesterday, I opened it up to a wider audience - my high school friends. And today, well, anyone who reads my blog here and who isn’t aware yet, will also know.

Know what, exactly? That I’m going through some serious personal reflections through all this. My boat has been rocked very hard, and it was really scary at first. After all, I’ve known this life for almost a decade now, and leaving it, can throw you into an emotional chaos. But I’m past that phase now. If anything, what’s happening has done more good than damage. For one, I’m into one of my most creative modes ever. Plotting out options, formulating game plans and what not. Second, I realized that there is no such thing as the "unknown". Our fate lies in our hands. What happens to us is all up to us, really. Third, I’m not afraid to go back home now. I know now that a simple life is what I wanted all along. Even if it means giving up the comforts and independence that I’ve known/lived the past few years. Looking around, I know people can live on so much less. Why can’t I? Why shouldn’t I? Fourth, I will never back down without a fight. I was never one who let fate dictate my life, and now is not the time to cower in fear. Yes, I will probably have no choice if all of a sudden I’m left without a job, but even then, I can go in my own terms. Fifth, I have started to give up some things and I’m surprised to find that I’m ok with it. It’s not the end of the world and  I can always reconsider these things I’ve given up, when things are better.

True, (more) changes are bound to happen… But change is not bad. Having been living a nomadic life, change has in fact been my friend, for the most part.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I’ve been living a lie. And I realized what really scares me is waking up one day, after a comfortable sleep, induced by the trappings of success, suddenly realizing I didn’t live my life to its full potential. Thanks to the 1st wave, I’ve finally woken up.

I started out the day in quite a good mood. What with my new blue dot Havs to bring happiness to my feet and slap away the crabby me lately I saw Allan’s look as he saw me with a Rustan’s bag in tow after just leaving him and James for a mere 10mins. And I appreciate how he just acknowledged (by not saying anything) that this almost-addiction to the rubber flipflops is something that I will have to deal with for a much longer period of time, in spite of my several tries to quit cold turkey.

I’m still happy as a bee, but a call from one of my good friends tugged at my heart. Love is indeed so hard to figure out. Emotions are just so complex that sometimes relationships are screwed up even when things seem to have "fallen into place". Don’t worry, dear friend, you are not alone. I’ve had a few heartbreaks too many. Up to now, some of the things that happened still don’t make sense. There are still more questions than answers. But if there is one thing that is comforting to know, it’s that we eventually move on.

And maybe love again, or even, lose again. All we can do is hope that someday we will get it right. That someday, someone, preferably one without baggages, will love us and try his best not to lose us, whether it’s his doing or not.

But for now, today, you have me, as you have your other friends. Hugs!

—-0o0—-

I read Jon’s blog earlier. Something he said struck me. "It is hard to get attached to something not really meant for you"…

How so very true. It’s even harder when you are the type who can get attached to anything, anyone, in a matter of minutes. Like me. And that’s bad for someone who is an acknowledged wanderer… (Just another one of my contradictions: nomadic yet easily gets attached. Sigh).

Ali and I were talking about how we got attached to Penang so easily. How much we loved it there and hated leaving. To think we were only there for a week! So just imagine how many times I’ve had to get attached then let go in this lifetime, since I have never really stayed put in one place for too long…

So I have this love-hate affair with attachment. I love meeting new friends. Exploring new places. Finding love. But I hate losing touch with good friends. I hate saying goodbye to places I’ve temporarily called home. I hate falling apart with lovers.

Sigh.

—-0o0—-

Now for the pick-me-upper This is what I really wanted to post but I got sidetracked. How so very me. Hahaha.

You can never get away with some funny experiences while you’re in another country.

It was the first day of our F2F meeting. And my counterparts from the other side of the world, still jet-lagged, was in need of caffeine real bad. So off they went to our office cafe. When they came back, we were surprised to see them holding plastic bags with dark brown liquid on it.

The other non-locals (including me) must have given them the funniest puzzled looks ever, that the two of them burst in laughter as well.

Oh yeah. That’s hot coffee to go in a plastic bag. Drink ‘em with a straw. The real challenge: Hold the bags while chairing and taking minutes of the meeting

Only in Penang. Hehehe.

(Come to think of it, we’ve been joking that it would be easier to just take caffeine intravenously. Maybe that is a much better option that drinking it through a straw. Mas efficient! Hahaha.)

The fact that I loved Penang so much that it hurt to leave was suprising. I remembered how I disliked the smell of curry and the heaps of yellow rice when I was there 9 years ago. Cities change and people change, too, I guess

Here are some of the reasons why I love Penang…

1. Temples. Not only are they beautiful, but it is also an indication of a culture so diverse yet somewhat harmonious. I don’t know how many there are, but I know there’s a lot. We went to a Siamese temple, a Burmese temple, an Indian temple. And we’ve passed by Chinese temples, mosques, churches, and other places of worship to perhaps any religion there is in the world.

At the Burmese temple, Ali and I knelt before a monk and he murmured a prayer on a language we didn’t recognize, splashed water on us and put a tiny string bracelet on our wrist. I hoped that he prayed for lots of good luck. Especially since the RM coin I threw missed that bowl of interest in the wishing well;)

2. Food. The Banana Leaf Curry House is one of my favorite places to eat here. And in Penang, it is practically daily fare. I’m kind of wary about overly spicy and hot food, but I find myself missing it already. Apparently, spicy food is good for the metabolism, and I know my sinuses definitely cleared the whole week.

The only downside, RICE! I totally abandoned my low carb diet. Rice tames the tangy and spicy feel on my tongue. And I’m Asian, for goodness sakes. I love my rice.

3. Novelty. I know we have carinderia, jolly-jeeps and McDoko-doko (in cebu). They are probably the hawker’s counterpart in Penang. But what is different is the way they are set-up. I’m talking about the food courts there selling hawker fare. No one stall is selling the same food. Too bad I didn’t get to try laksa. And I still want to try it authentic - go line up to the hawkers selling food in one corner on the street

4. Culture. Diversity is definitely interesting. In the company cafe, non-halal food is not allowed inside. Most of the restos just sell chicken. When we arrived, it was start of the Chinese Hungry Ghost festival. Apparently, during the full moon, the ghosts came back to visit their loved ones (and maybe enemies? ). Sidewalk plays were held for the ghosts. So don’t be sorry if you see a play that has empty seats (or nilalangaw, in tagalog). That’s really the way it’s supposed to be. Because the seats are for the ghosts. (Insert gasp here).

This girl in the picture with me by the Gurney Drive was in one of those plays. Too bad we didn’t get to watch.

5. Gurney Drive. Gurney Drive is fronting the sea. Looks like Baywalk, only cleaner and less crowded. The place is apparently a little upscale. Very pretty, breezy and serene. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (I prefer tea lattes over fraps) is just a short walk away. And more importantly, Plaza Gurney - our little shoe shopping haven. Wahaha.

6. Uncle Siva. He has been driving Filipino expats for about 10 years now. He has become like a legend. Dapat kasama sa traveller’s checklist. He is kind and honest and very fatherly. We always felt safe with him. And without him, we would never have managed to go around Georgetown or up the hills to Batu Ferringhi for a last minute shopping spree.

7. Shopping. Ali and I scored lovely pairs of shoes all for under 1.5k pesos. I got several pairs for only P150 each! The most expensive pair I got were the studded ballerina flats at about P900. Not bad. The best part is, they are all so comfy on my feet!

Then of course, there was the Shu Uemura finds. Too bad I’m not a keen make up fan. But an eyelash curler is something I can probably figure out. Harhar.

The night market in Batu Ferringhi is like Greenhills, only it’s a whole stretch of stalls by the roadside instead of inside a building. You have your usual pirated DVD’s, knock-offs and hand-crafts. Some items are actually cheaper here in the Philippines. But the best part of shopping is the experience in looking through stalls and stalls of pretty stuff.

8. Traffic. Definitely better than Manila, a little similar to Cebu. In fact, Penang and Cebu is quite similar. A developing island, somewhere between suburban and urban… More laid-back than Manila, but not without the comforts of development. I love that people hardly honk their horns in Penang. Not even during rush hour. How very refreshing.

The only downside (or should I say challenge), is that they drive on the left side of the road. When crossing the streets, I always look the other way, and to think barumbado akong tumawid sa Pinas. Hahaha. But like new things, this is just something that takes getting used to. So it’s really not that bad.

9. Subsidized gas and other freebies. Gas there is cheaper because the government is subsidizing it. Education is free until high school, and the government will send to prison parents who don’t send their children to school. Wonderful.

10. Friends. Through the years I’ve met so many friends from all over the world. A few of them Malaysians. Too bad I wasn’t able to see one of my good friends, but we did talk lengthily over the phone. I miss him, and I will miss the rest of my friends.

And most definitely, I will miss Penang, Malaysia. Till next time!